Month: April 2008

Which Search Engine?

WordPress provides me with a pretty impressive set of stats on this here blog.  It tells me which posts are being viewed the most.  (Silly Jackson 5 post)  It also tells me where folks are clicking from to get here, like MySpace or other blogs.   It also tells me what terms people entered into search engines in order to come to my blog.

Most of these terms make sense.  I would hope that when you go to Google, and enter “peggyluwho” you’d come to me. The blog is in fact the first entry.

However, the number one search engine term used to reach my blog, of all time, is “rats”.   I did one post about rats.  One.  And it wasn’t even good.  But what I really want to know is, what search engine are you people using?

I entered “rats” in Google, Yahoo, and Ask, and none of them came up with my blog within the first five pages.  I assume that, like me, most people who don’t find what they’re looking for in the first page or two, give up and search for something else.  So, I’m assuming that there’s some search engine out there, that when you enter “rats” it gives you my blog within the first four pages.

What is that search engine?

Of course, now that I’ve posted this entry with the word in it about 12 times, it’s really going to be the #1 search term.

I just want to know, if you’re here, and you’re reading this after doing a search for “big rats,”  what engine did you use?  Please tell me.  The curiosity is killing me.

Tropics Lust

A friend of mine told me the other day that he’s a Seychellois, which is a person from Seychelles. I didn’t know anything about it, so I did a little googling. I’m curious like that. I spend lots of time with Google.

So, in the interest of sharing the wealth, Seychelles is an island nation off the coast of Africa in the Indian Ocean. It’s northeast of Madagascar. According to travel sites, it looks a little something like this:

They pretty much had me at “Hello”. I have been dying to go some place sweaty, warm, and tropical for a while now. This looks like just the kind of spot. I can smell coconuts just thinking about it. Of course, I’m not sure there are any coconuts there, but you know what I mean.  I wish I could run away and live on a tropical island.

Then he tells me that the sea turtle is the national mascot, or something, and does it get any better than that?

I want to sweat and I want to drink something with an umbrella in it.

Just sayin’.

Brrrrr!

That was an exceptionally cold night at the ballpark last night. Tim Lincecum on the mound, sadly got his first loss of the season. I’m pretty sure that ump blew that call on the balk, but it’s hard to tell from the center field bleachers, you know. It’s all OK, though, because at least I got to go to the game. Also, I got to yell at some Dodgers’ fans. Seriously, the Giants were playing the Rockies. Where’d the Dodger-blues come from? AB got a kick out of some of my random baseball utterances. “Run you slow slow slow . . . .little man!”

You know what’s really hard? Sending text messages when you hands are frozen solid. But I managed, and I have to say, I’m becoming much more of a fan of text messaging and picture mail. Especially when I get random ones in the middle of the night that make absolutely no sense from what I can only assume are very drunk friends. I hope some day to get one that is actually important, something along the lines of “water broke. baby coming.”

Anyway, by the time the game was over, my feet were completely numb. It’s so weird to walk around like that, and to have to assume that you’re touching the ground. When I got home, I went right into the shower to try to warm up. Went to bed around midnight. Woke up at 1:35 by random text messages. Two within a minute from two different friends. Then continued waking myself up every other hour for no apparent reason all night long.

I’m tired. I’m crabby. My throat is a little sore from the hollering.

Monday I’m going to an A’s game. Crazy.

First Game of the Season

Yeah, last year, I didn’t go to a single Giants’ game. This year, I plan to make up for that. Tonight I’m going to the game with AB, and we’re sitting in the bleachers. I’ve never had bleacher seats at AT&T park, before. I have my scarf and my ball cap in my bag, and I’m heading over right after work.

Lincecum is on the mound tonight vs. Cook of the Rockies. He’s got a 1.23 ERA this season to date. Last night, the Giants shut out the Rockies 4-0. I’m hoping for a good game, and that the Giants will move one step closer to .500.  Also, I hope they don’t bring Zito in out of the bullpen.

I’ve also been invited to an A’s game on Monday. That should be . . . interesting. They’re playing Baltimore.

A Party to End All Parties

Alli says to me today that she hopes I will ping her some day when my life is finally normal, and I’m bored.   She says that when the day comes that I have no boy drama, no health drama, and no family drama, she will throw me a party.  I am working towards this party.

So far I’ve eliminated all boy drama.  He dumped me, and I’m pretty much over it, at this point.  I have my moments, but it’s not like it was a month ago.  He hasn’t called me at all.  All the lose ends (i.e. the motorcycle, the lease, and the spare keys) have been dealt with.  I doubt I’ll ever hear from him again.  Onward and upward, as I’ve finally realized that what all those people were hinting at all along, that I could do much better, is probably very true.

On the health drama front, I got some good news today.  The results of last weeks test came back normal.  I have more tests this Friday.  I’m still eating healthy like, and am currently roasting veggies and salmon in the oven.  Look out world; I’m cooking!!  Also, I’m still on the same routine in the morning, so I’m peeing like a fountain.

My family is still holding their collective breathe.   My uncle is quite ill, but my fingers are crossed for him.  Cancer blows.   Good news, though, my dad got a job, so that takes a lot of stress off me and the folks.  My mom is going to come down for a visit, and will be staying with me for just about a week.  Just in time for test results!

So, when that day comes that I’m A-OK, and my family is A-OK, and I’m either enjoying being single or loving being in the arms of the next one, Alli and I are going to paint the town red.

I’m shooting for June.

Letting Go

This was my motorcycle:

This motorcycle was given to me by my then boyfriend for Christmas. He was going to pay for the insurance, and he paid for me to take lessons. I failed the lessons the first time around; I fell and I couldn’t keep up with the pace they were teaching. I was going to go back and retake the class once I had more time, but with work and with Cinderella, it wasn’t looking like I was going to get a shot. I had wanted to learn how to ride first, and then get a bike later. I wanted to make sure I actually liked riding before I put any money into it. I had even specifically told him not to get me a bike. He put the horse before the cart, so I had a motorcycle that I didn’t have the slightest clue how to ride for about three months. Then he broke up with me last month.

I’ve spent the last month trying to decide what to do with the bike. I wanted to keep it. It’s pretty. Then he said something about always being available to help me with the bike, and that freaked me out. I didn’t want it if it was going to tie me to him. I want the clean break. I want the space and time, at least for the time being. I waffled back and forth about whether I could keep the bike, and cut the strings attached, too.

But then I also thought that it would be cool to learn how to do it all by myself. I thought it would be easier to learn how to ride it without all the pressure I felt from him. He’d told just about everyone about it, so I felt like they were all staring at me. It made me want to talk to the bean dip. I seriously felt like all of his friends were judging me. Not to mention all the snide remarks. “I know you want a scooter, but this is so much better, so GET OVER IT!” etc. It seemed like his whole ego was wrapped up in me riding that motorcycle, and it didn’t really have anything to do with me. Anyway, I thought I could learn to ride it, go back and take the class. Then I imagined myself pulling up in front of my local coffee shop, and turning heads with that paint job. I also imagined showing up at a bar where his friends were hanging out, just to show them that regardless of what they think, I’m never going to be a speed demon.

Finally, a month after the break up, I can think about that motorcycle, and detach it from the feelings of rejection and insecurity surrounding my ex.

To insure the bike myself, it would cost about $550/year. That’s not much, by insurance standards. However, I had to look at it as what would be the personal cost to me. What would I have to give up in order to pay for the insurance? What else could I spend $550 on this year?

The band I’m talking with could cost me $550 this year, easily. I have my sax, but it needs some work done, and I have no idea what that will cost me. It would cover at least five and a half months of lessons. There’s also the cost of transportation and rehearsal space and what not.

My mounting medical costs could also easily total $550. Actually, it’ll probably be even more. I’ve already spent $160, and I haven’t gotten the bill for the ultrasound, yet. I’m also having another test done this week, and I have no idea what that will run. This is all just for tests. Who knows what treatment could cost?

That money would cover half of the new MacBook that I want, or the full cost of a MiniMac. My computer is falling apart. The CD burner doesn’t even work anymore. Plus, it’s just really old and slow. One of my favorite hobbies is this blog. So, it would take me twice as long to have a new computer.

So in exchange for giving up music lessons, being able to pay my medical bills, or a computer (keep in mind, that’s just the insurance), I would get a motorcycle. So what would I do with a motorcycle, assuming I could complete the lessons or pass a test at the DMV to get my license? I don’t like the idea of riding in traffic. I never liked doing it on the back of the ex’s bike, so I know I wouldn’t use it to commute. I couldn’t get the sax on it, so I couldn’t ride it to and from band practice and gigs.

So, I’d basically just be using it for pleasure trips, like when I go out in the evenings or weekends, but then I couldn’t dress nice and my hair would be a mess. So that usually wouldn’t work, either. When I really thought about it, I mostly saw myself tootling around town on the bike, and only on very nice sunny days.
Really, I could get myself a bicycle for that, and i wouldn’t have to pay for insurance or gas.

I see now that it was really much more about holding on to that man and that life, and I don’t have to do that any more. The motorcycle doesn’t fit my budget and it doesn’t fit my lifestyle. I just wanted to look cool on it, anyway.

So, I emailed the ex earlier this week, and I told him that he should keep the bike, as he would get more out of it than I would. He never should have given it to me in the first place, and he should have known better. I’ve been accused of “rewarding bad behavior” by giving him the bike, but really, it just means that I get to let go of the last piece of emotional baggage.

Besides, it’s twice as pretty to look at in the picture than it would be six months from now when I had never washed it, and I’ll look three times cooler wailing on my sax with healthy girly guts than I ever would with helmet hair.

Books, Books, Books

It’s a well established fact that I am a nerd. An exceptionally booky nerd. A nerd with a massive appetite for the written word.

Right now, I’m in the middle of reading four books –

Sense and Sensibility, by Jane Austen

Everyday Zen: Love & Work by Charlotte Jojo Beck (my dad recommended and loaned this one to me)

Jaywalking with the Irish by David Monagan

and

Foods to Fight Cancer by Richard Believeau, Ph.D. and Denis Gingras, Ph.D.

Maybe I should just try to finish one.

Or maybe I should pick up some fluffy summer read and add it to the pile.

Or maybe I should stop blogging, and open one of them.

OR I could just embrace the insanity and join a book club, too.

Anyway, they’re all pretty decent so far, and I recommend them all.  I just wish I had one more bookmark.  This is why people keep giving me their business cards, though, right?

Happy Arbor Day!

I’m working from home, so while I’m sitting here downloading delivery reports, and writing up my weekly notes, I’ve got Martha Stewart going in the background.    I’m watching Martha, because of a newsletter I get from one of my favorite new author’s Josh Kilmer-Purcell.    Yesterday, he let the cat out of the bag that his partner is Dr. Brent who does a regular part on Martha’s show.   So, I’m tuning in today to see a segment involving their goats, and natural soap made from goat milk.

Anyway, Martha devoted the first part of her show to Arbor Day, which is today.  I love Arbor Day.  When I was a kid, my dad used to always plant at least one tree, usually fruit bearing, in our yard.  I miss that.  And you all know I’m hippie.   Unfortunately, I’m a hippie in a studio apartment.

So I have a favor to ask.     Can someone plant a tree for me?   Or, if you know of some organization that I could donate to so that they could plant a tree for me somewhere, that would be awesome.

I want more trees in the world, even though I’ll just end up being allergic to them anyway.

Reason #53 Why Living Alone Sucks

I’ve been living alone for almost six months now. I’m still not used to it. Living alone wasn’t really my choice, but I thought it was a temporary situation, so I decided I’d give it a shot. Now I’m here for at least another six months. I’m trying to be OK with it.

Sometimes I like it. I like when I know I could go somewhere else, or when there’s someone I can call or text if I feel lonely. I like having someone out there that I can reach out to, so I don’t feel like I’m in a vortex in this apartment all by myself. Sometimes I feel like I’m going to get trapped in here, and no one will notice. I know, rational, and all.

This afternoon, I’m working from home, and I just saw something that definitely makes it unlikable. I was sitting here, legs crossed, laptop, well, in my lap, and I was actually on the phone with my mom, when out of the corner of my eye, I saw something out the window. I looked up, and there was a man’s head coming up over the gate outside. He popped up over the gate, looked at me, and jumped over and ran down walkway that runs along the side of my apartment. I jumped off the call with my mom, and called the apartment manager immediately. He said he was going to check it out.

I hate living here alone. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!

Stay out of my yard, creepazoids!

And where was my attack trained watch squirrel when I needed him???!!!??