I just spent the last two weeks not speaking with one of my oldest, bestest friends, because we’re both gigantic dorks. Each of us thought the other was not talking to her. So, I wasn’t talking to her, because she wasn’t talking to me, because I wasn’t talking to her. The great miscommunication of 2008. What a pair of fools.
I’m glad we got that all sorted out, Mama Bear. Now we can go back to being silly in other ways.
I’ve been dealt some more crap, and it’s been getting me down. This time it’s much more real than that “he doesn’t love me any more” unreality nonsense. That all doesn’t mean a thing. It’s not important.
The thing that matters most is that I woke up this morning. And I’ll wake up tomorrow. And next week. And next month. I’m not giving up. I don’t want to give up. I’m going to fight. I’m going to do what I have to do to get better and be good to myself. And this is not going to get any worse. I won’t go there.
I may not be 100% right now, but I’m going to keep doing what I need to do, and hopefully someday this will all just be a bad memory. I think the best thing I can do for myself is accept things for what they are, let go of all the things that aren’t, and just focus on the fact that this morning, this moment, I’m fine. This is my attempt at venturing into the uncharted territory of optimism.
That’s how I’m going to get better.