Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

Apple Stole My Music. No, Seriously.

Well, that’s creepy. Remind me not to sign up for Apple music. Does anyone have a suggestion for managing a music library and syncing an iPod without using iTunes?

vellumatlanta

“The software is functioning as intended,” said Amber.
“Wait,” I asked, “so it’s supposed to delete my personal files from my internal hard drive without asking my permission?”
“Yes,” she replied.

Angry man crashing laptop Maybe I’m Not Pressing the Keys Hard Enough.

I had just explained to Amber that 122 GB of music files were missing from my laptop. I’d already visited the online forum, I said, and they were no help. Although several people had described problems similar to mine, they were all dismissed by condescending “gurus” who simply said that we had mislocated our files (I had the free drive space to prove that wasn’t the case) or that we must have accidentally deleted the files ourselves (we hadn’t). Amber explained that I should blow off these dismissive “solutions” offered online because Apple employees don’t officially use the forums—evidently, that honor is reserved for lost, frustrated people like me, and (at…

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Coping.

One of the hardest things about going through the grieving process, for me, is coping with other people’s reactions to my grief.   Everywhere I turn, it seems, there are people trying to hand me their own grief and issues.  Or just expecting me to get on with getting on.

I can’t carry that for you.   Not right now.   Probably not ever.

I can’t take on what you need right now.   I can’t be what you need me to be in this situation.  I’m struggling just to keep afloat myself.   Getting out of bed is herculean.   My legs feel as if they are 100 pounds each, and walking is a chore.   My brain keeps crashing, or rebooting without warning.   Answering questions is excruciating, in particular any questions about anything having to do with making a decision or planning anything.  I will do my best to be as invisible as possible, and to not speak up, and not volunteer.   And I’m lazy and avoiding the hell out of everything right now.  I’m struggling with trying to have patience.   Crowds are weird.   Corners are lovely.   Mostly, simple video games are addictive, soothing, and consuming.

And Catholic churches are the best place to cry.

The thing I learned this week, though, is that all those people who are trying to hand me their “stuff” and wanting me to carry it for them.  All those people that want to somehow make all of this about them, the people who seem to not understand that I need time, that I need space, that I need a little help; all that has nothing to do with me.  I can’t take it personally.   Anyone who has expectations of me that seem too high or who seems to be oblivious to what I’m going through and what it means, that’s just their “stuff”.   It’s not even any of my business.

I just have to do what I have to do to get through this, and people will get along without my help, if I can’t give it.  They’ll carry their own grief or fear of grief or whatever it is, and we’ll all get on in our own time.

I really do miss her, and I wish she were still here with us.  The world is less fun, less magic without her.

This Week’s Throwback Thursday

Usually on Thursdays, people post (embarrassing) pictures of themselves from “back in the day”.   I do it a little bit different.

Click on my First Grade School pic for a classic Just Sayin’ Blog post from “Way Back When”

Throwback Thursday

I’m leaving it all undone

A reminder….getting stuff done isn’t everything in life.

kelzbelzphotography

image

I’m leaving things undone today. Not matter how much my mind is urging me to clean and work. I must let my body recover. Im nothing to myself or my children, if I’m physically and mentally drained.

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This is Gross

Man sends wife a spreadsheet of all the times she denied him sex.  Even if you’re married, a woman is not obligated to have sex with you whenever you want.   It sucks to be in a relationship where you aren’t equally matched in terms of libido, but that’s no excuse to start logging evidence for a criminal case or a tax audit. 

 

Discuss

 

 

 

Giving it away.

Giving it away.

My latest hair donation. Someone needs it more than I do. And 2013 feels like a fresh start year. Click picture to learn how you can donate your hair.

Best Day Ever

Today was the best day of my entire fucking life! No bullshit. No sarcasm.


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