Tasting Shoe Leather

I have a problem.   I have a tendency to talk faster than I can think.   This gets me in trouble.  Not all the time, but some of the time.  I get started, think I’m being funny, or think that everyone realizes I’m just kidding and being sarcastic.  Every once in a while, something I say really gets to someone.  Usually not in a way that I meant, but that’s irrelevant, isn’t it?

I take full responsibility for all the stupid things that come out of my mouth that aren’t nearly as funny as I think they’re going to be.  I just wish I could learn.   

Because I really don’t want to hurt people’s feelings, and I don’t want them to be mad at me.  

Also, I honestly am almost never trying to make some sort of subtle point.  I feel like people think I’m trying to say something more than what I am.   I’m very much a speak my mind type of person, so I don’t really allude to things.   I’m not trying to imply a damn thing.   That’s why it’s so frustrating when I realize that someone has heard something in what I said because I’m a pretty straight forward kind of person.   But I’m not trying to make any sort of excuses.   I’ve been insensitive, and I own that.

So, I guess I just need to learn to slow down a little bit.   In every possible situation, I need to learn to think about how what I’m saying is going to sound to someone else.  Anyone else, really.   

If you think this is about you, then I probably said something really thoughtless to you at some point.  It wouldn’t surprise me, because I really am beginning to think that I’m a total moron.   At any rate, I apologize.  I am very truly deeply sorry.   

So here’s to learning to think before I speak.   And knowing when to keep my mouth shut.   

And to no more sucking on my feet.

Just sayin’.

Here We Are Again

It’s two in the morning, and I can’t sleep.  I have a big weekend ahead of me, and I can’t get it out of my head. 

This weekend is Queen Bee’s wedding, and I’m the maid of honor.  I’ve got the dress, and the shoes.  I sort of have an outline of a toast in my head should the need arise.   It’s up in Tahoe, so I’ll be heading out straight from work to drive up their on Friday.   We, the womens, are going out on Friday night.   Should be odd, considering half the party is pregnant.  What is there to do in Tahoe when you’re with child or with some someones who are with child?   

So, the wedding is Saturday afternoon.  Since I don’t have any extra cash, and don’t have a place to crash up their the night of, I’m planning on coming home afterwards.

Just in time to catch Maldroid.  

Now all I need to do is get some sleep between now and then.

Maybe venting has helped . . .

The Gym Rat is Back

I went to the gym today for the first time in six months.  There’s a few reasons I haven’t been, which I won’t go in to, but this morning I woke up, and said enough is enough.

The fact that we decided to skip band practice didn’t hurt.

So, I got my gear on, threw the iPod in the arm band, filled my water bottle, and headed off.

I took it fairly easy, just fifteen minutes on the elliptical and twenty walking at a slight incline.   I burned 275 calories.  Not bad at all for the first time after six months.

I had completely forgotten how great/awful it feels to go to the gym.   I won’t ever be one of those freaks that tells you working out feels good.  It hurts.   It hurts my knees.   I get cramps in my sides.   I breathe heavily.   I sweat A LOT.  At the same time, it’s still good to feel the air moving in and out of my lungs, and I love that zoned out mind wandering feeling that I get in the middle of the workout.  

So now I just have to keep up the good work, and keep going.