Archive for the 'Humor' Category

Rules of Cooking by PeggyLu

  1. Play some music really loudly, preferably something you kind of like to dance to.  Cooking is hella boring, so you’ll want something to take your mind off of how dull you feel.
  2. There’s probably no such thing as too much garlic.
  3. Always use broth or stock.  It makes people think you know what the hell you’re doing.
  4. Using wine when you cook also makes people think you know what you’re doing.  Bonus, you get to drink the wine while you cook.  Julia Child taught me that.
  5. In every bag of potatoes, there’s always that one that is pretty messed up.  Don’t waste your time trying to cut off the bad parts of that one.  Just throw it away.
  6. Use every dish.
  7. Try not to cook meat or dairy.  There’s less chance that you’ll give everyone food poisoning that way.
  8. Things you just have to leave on the stove or oven for an extended period of time are the best dishes.  It gives you time to do something else while you wait, like straighten your hair or remember where you left your keys.
  9. When it comes to vegetables, don’t peel them.  Not only are all the nutrients and vitamins on the skin, but it saves you a lot of time.  Also, potato peelers are pretty much just knuckle skin shavers.
  10. Impersonating the Swedish Chef from The Muppets is required.
  11. Doing the running man in the kitchen is acceptable.
  12. No one is going to know or even care if you mash the potatoes by hand.  Use a mixer.  Trust me.
  13. In the case of potlucks, don’t be afraid to buy something and put it in a dish.  No one has to know that you didn’t cook it.
  14. Cut every corner you can.
  15. Have fun

I hope you found this helpful.  Good luck getting through the holidays.

Just sayin’.

What Avi Meant to Say

Here’s what he was trying to link to in the comment on the last post.

Variations on the theme:

Didja Know?

My boss’ boss just sent out this informative email to our entire team.   She included the following picture:

I had no idea that Unicorns pee out Rainbows!   See, this is why I love my job . . . I learn something new every day!

I Believe You Were Looking for This . . .

Earlier this evening, someone found their way to my humble little blog by entering “phenomenauts slackers dildo” into a search engine.

I believe this is what they were looking for:

Just Fun Links

Q had this in her status message on G-Chat – 9 Reasons Not To Date a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

And while we’re at it, Robot sent me this in an IM a couple of weeks ago – Rube Goldberg.

This Cracks Me Up and Covers It

cat
more cat pictures

I’ve become a LOLcats freak.

Humor for Me

I’m not dead.  I don’t want to go on the cart.  I FEEL HAPPY!

Seriously, it could be worse.  I could have shit all over me.

Thanks, Monty Python.  You’re a life saver.


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