- Play some music really loudly, preferably something you kind of like to dance to. Cooking is hella boring, so you’ll want something to take your mind off of how dull you feel.
- There’s probably no such thing as too much garlic.
- Always use broth or stock. It makes people think you know what the hell you’re doing.
- Using wine when you cook also makes people think you know what you’re doing. Bonus, you get to drink the wine while you cook. Julia Child taught me that.
- In every bag of potatoes, there’s always that one that is pretty messed up. Don’t waste your time trying to cut off the bad parts of that one. Just throw it away.
- Use every dish.
- Try not to cook meat or dairy. There’s less chance that you’ll give everyone food poisoning that way.
- Things you just have to leave on the stove or oven for an extended period of time are the best dishes. It gives you time to do something else while you wait, like straighten your hair or remember where you left your keys.
- When it comes to vegetables, don’t peel them. Not only are all the nutrients and vitamins on the skin, but it saves you a lot of time. Also, potato peelers are pretty much just knuckle skin shavers.
- Impersonating the Swedish Chef from The Muppets is required.
- Doing the running man in the kitchen is acceptable.
- No one is going to know or even care if you mash the potatoes by hand. Use a mixer. Trust me.
- In the case of potlucks, don’t be afraid to buy something and put it in a dish. No one has to know that you didn’t cook it.
- Cut every corner you can.
- Have fun
I hope you found this helpful. Good luck getting through the holidays.