OK – so I’m trying the online dating thing, again. Why? Well, two reasons, really. No, scratch that – three reasons. #1 – why the hell not. #2 – Sitting around moaning about a guy who already has a girl isn’t getting me anywhere and #3 – more than one person recommended I give it another shot, just, you know, Not Craig’s List. I’m also window shopping for kittens on the internet….. and honestly, those two things are virtually the same activity, except that the kittens have the common sense to avoid the following blunders:
- “partner in crime” …. Don’t. Ok? Just….don’t.
- People that say that they like all types of music, as in, “I like everything. Really!” are just afraid of commitment
- ooohhhh….you have a motorcycle. Um, NEXT!
- Why are you posing with a panther in your profile pic? And also, why did it take me so long to figure out what it was? (Is that a dog? Is that a bear? Wait, it’s a panther, isn’t it? wow)
- I get it. You’re really into making the sexy with the women. What else are you into, horn-dog?
- You have more than one photo of yourself in zombie/skull make-up on your dating profile….. You have more than one photo of yourself in zombie/skull make-up on your dating profile ……
- Punctuation is your friend.
- Why are there so many pictures of guys on top of rocks on these profiles? I guess every guy who goes on online dating is a rock climber. I wonder what the cause and effect is with that? Which came first – personality test or thrill seeking outdoors-manship?
- You sent me a poem…a poem you wrote originally for some other broad. And it’s not even good. Ugh.
Shoot me. Seriously. In the head.
I caved to Creeper’s nagging. I posted a personal on Craig’s List. Don’t go looking for it, though, because I already took it down.
What a disaster!
Actually, that’s a complete and total exaggeration. It wasn’t disastrous. It was just uninspiring. My hopes were pretty low, and the response I got was even lower.
I got only 8 responses. Of those 8, one was a Republican, two were exceptionally devoid of punctuation, one guy only wrote of himself that I would be “glad that I met him,” and one guy seemed way too into Emo. Of the lot, I think I would have possibly hung out with one of them.
But really, when it came right down to it, I just didn’t really feel like writing any of them back. I pretty much already knew that I didn’t want to find someone to date, but was just kind of curious to see if I got any really interesting responses. It was more like a crazy single girl experiment than an actual attempt at dating.
I think I’m cool with my lot in life right now, and I’m not looking for anyone else to add to my cast of characters. Besides, I’ve already got one guy to flirt with. How much more could a crazy single girl ask for?
Creeper has been trying to talk me into “getting out there” and his big suggestion is that I peruse the ads on Craiglist. He also suggested that I post a few ads of my own, and at one point threatened to write one for me. I am curious to know what he would write, and what the response would be, so I might make him do it.
First off, I have to say, this is not encouraging. Have you seen these ads lately? They used to be good for a laugh, but now they’re kind of sad.
And so it is, that I came across my guy Charles, who posts a version of the same post every day. Charles is a 59 year old from the East Bay. He’s a self-described “Jack-Outta-Da_Box,” and a “City Cat / Nature Boy hybrid.” He admits that, “I partake of herbal sacraments for medicinal comfort on occasion. . .” And he’s looking for a “Different drummer,progressive,iso conspirator for rhythm and resonance.”
Each of his posts includes at least these two photos:
Is it just me, or does Charles look/sound familiar to anyone else?
This is what I’ve been missing these many years. How many other golden opportunities have passed me by?