Keep Me Company?

I’m not sleeping again.   I wish I had some good company for this.   Someone to make popcorn and laugh with about just how tired we are, and yet how unable to actually obtain unconsciousness.   I would write a Craig’s List strictly platonic ad to get this, but man, have you seen those listings?    Some people need to be learned the difference between “strictly platonic” and “casual encounter”.

Strictly platonic means just friends, people.   Not just friends who have sex with one another.   I don’t want to kill any time while I’m not sleeping with sex with a stranger.   I’m cranky.  My eyes are burning.   My throat is sore.     There is nothing sexy happening over here.   Nothing.

Really, the perfect strictly platonic bedfellow that I would like to find would be My Sleep.   I wonder if I can post a personal ad for that.   Something a little bit like this:

Me – single, 32, female.   Exhausted.   Wrapped in layers of warm blankets.    Prone to long-winded late night blogs about everything that ails.    Interests include music, movies, dancing, writing, feminism, and travel.

You – soothing, refreshing, relaxing, revitalizing lack of consciousness with or without vivid imaginary adventures.   Please be swift, effortless, and be able to last eight full hours.

No Snuggling.

OK, yeah, that was pretty lame, but what do you expect?   It’s going on 4 in the morning, and my whole body knows that there is no reason why I should be awake, on the computer, and certainly not writing this blog.

I’m just sayin’.

Everybody Needs Somebody to Love

Creeper has been trying to talk me into “getting out there” and his big suggestion is that I peruse the ads on Craiglist. He also suggested that I post a few ads of my own, and at one point threatened to write one for me. I am curious to know what he would write, and what the response would be, so I might make him do it.

First off, I have to say, this is not encouraging. Have you seen these ads lately? They used to be good for a laugh, but now they’re kind of sad.

And so it is, that I came across my guy Charles, who posts a version of the same post every day. Charles is a 59 year old from the East Bay. He’s a self-described “Jack-Outta-Da_Box,” and a “City Cat / Nature Boy hybrid.” He admits that, “I partake of herbal sacraments for medicinal comfort on occasion. . .” And he’s looking for a “Different drummer,progressive,iso conspirator for rhythm and resonance.”

Each of his posts includes at least these two photos:

Is it just me, or does Charles look/sound familiar to anyone else?

This is what I’ve been missing these many years. How many other golden opportunities have passed me by?