So, my intermittent sleep issues have reared their ugly heads again. I’m reasonably sure that I can easily trace this evenings troubles back to the source.
I stayed up quite late last night, talking about everything, which as you know is really nothing. And nothingness is everything.
So, I laid down about an hour ago, and I started replaying the conversation, and it’s all swimming around in my head. And I wondered what the next one is going to be about.
Then I started worrying about my family. And, well, that’s totally pointless, isn’t it?
So then I realized that I was hungry, and I was thinking about the bag of avocados I picked up at the grocery yesterday. They’re on my shelf . . . . taunting me.
Then I wondered about next Friday’s soccer game, because I’m obsessed with my soccer team right now. We lose every game, but it’s so much fun running around and sweating like a kid again. And I was hoping maybe I could convince some more of my friends to come watch me play.
Of course, then I started thinking about coloring my hair fluorescent pink, again. Trying to imagine what everyone’s reaction to that would be.
Do you know how much I want to go to England again, but I’m not sure I can afford it, but I’m just going to say “fuck it” and do it anyway.
And I hope that they like the lyrics I started to write, and maybe my bandmates can turn it into something less cheesy than it is right now.
And then I was thinking that I hadn’t written a really good blog in quite some time, because every time I do, I just think they sound whiney. And I want something that’s just awesomely funny to happen, that’s also not terribly personal, so I can write it up here.
Everything is personal right now, and I start thinking about friends new and old and all the crazy life changing shit that we’re all in the middle of right now. All of it just swirling around us all, and swallowing us up. New babies, babies on the way, soccer teams, band drama, weddings to plan, websites to build, places to go, dancing to do, music to make, goals to score or block, and what to write, and will it ever make a difference at all.
And it’s all just going round and round, and I’m not sleeping, but I’ve got it out a little now, haven’t I? And maybe when I go back to my bed, it’ll stay here in this blog, and I can pick it up again tomorrow.
And maybe I’ll have a sweet, sweet dream. And maybe I’ll have some avocado for breakfast.