I’ve been thinking a lot about love lately. Not because I’ve found some new love to fall into, mind you, but maybe because I haven’t. I’ve just been thinking of all the varieties of love, and how I experience them. More exactly, what makes those loves most evident?
I also started thinking about this when I felt my heart swell on the 20th.
I’ve come up with a list of loves in my life, and how/when they are most intense.
There’s the Love I see on the television in the faces of millions listening to a man who promises to bring our dreams back to us, restore our values, and reminds us what patriotism feels like. Love of ourselves. Love our country. Love of each other.
There’s the Love I can smell when we hug, that’s just exactly the same as how I remember, even after six years.
There’s the Love in the silence between Girls who know each others’ thoughts, and don’t have to say A Word to induce fits of Laughter from one another. Even though it’s not been one year, let alone six.
There’s the Love of trusting me with your baby, even though I almost dropped him on His head.
There’s the Love I hear on my speakers when I Rocket Roll.
There’s the Love I see when I feel a heavy chain lowered around my neck, and open my eyes to see a Hardware Jewel in the mirror at Slim’s.
There’s the Love I feel as a fullness in my chest when I think of those closest to me.
It’s just a start of course. There are as many types of love as their are Mates and Lovers.
I was saying all day that they wouldn’t get violent again. The Bacon was in custody. And OPD would be all over it.
Well, I was wrong. Right now, on the news they’re saying about 40 people are running around downtown breaking windows.
It apparently started very peacefully, with about 1,000 protestors. Once most everyone went home, a small group started smashing windows. I think it’s pretty clear that this is not a case of some people who were overcome by the tension or emotion of the protest. These are the folks who had every intention of doing this from the start.
I’ve seen some comments online over the last few days, people who seem to have something against capitalism. They’ve been talking about targeting business.
What the fuck?!?
What, if anything, does this have to do with the issue? Do they even remember what happened? Are they thinking of Oscar Grant and his family at all? This is not how change is achieved.
I’m really bummed out, and completely pissed off.
I don’t even know what else to say. It’s so . . . frustrating.
Over at Oakland Living, they have posted a list of businesses that were vandalized during the riots last Wednesday. I decided to go and visit one of my favorite take out spots which had their windows broken, Take It Easy.
Also, the tattoo parlor where I got my first tattoo in November, Temple Tattoo, had their windows broken, too.
While I was on my little walk, I saw some inspirational signs of what I think is true spirit of Oakland.. I snapped these two shots on my iPhone.
So, last night, I was talking on the phone with Mama Bear, and I got on the topic of bicycling and how much I’m now in love with pedaling all over Oakland. I was telling her some of my better anecdotes, like the moment I realized that I made the right decision to give up my motorcycle as I nearly ran into a parked car after looking down at the gear selector for a brief moment, thinking to myself, I really should never go any faster through open air and space than I can propel myself.
Anyway, I also mentioned how it’s difficult to determine the right balance of clothing for riding in these winter months. You see, when I set out to go to work in the morning, I’m usually dressed in some suitable winter fashion, like a sweater. The thing is, though, the physical exertion of riding warms me up pretty quickly. So, even on the coolest mornings, I usually arrive to work at least a bit sweaty. I struggle to find just enough clothes to be warm enough when I first leave the house, but not so much that I’m miserable by the time I get to work. I was saying how I couldn’t wait until summer, when I could just ride in a tee or tank top.
Apparently I don’t have to wait until summer, though. The Global Warming Crazy Weather Gods have smiled on Oakland.
When I was strapping into my helmet and my back pack this morning, I was wearing a sweater over a sun dress with jeans. And I realized I was hot. I hadn’t even started riding yet. So, I put the sweater in my backpack.
I really, really liked being able to bike in to work without being completely bundled up. And it’s nice, too to get to work not a sweaty mess.
And I think I probably looked good, too. I like being able to show off my tattoo.
But as much as I hate to admit it . . . . we need rain. So, I’m going to enjoy this random heat wave, but hopefully it’ll start raining again soon. Droughts suck.
My city is angry, and I understand why. A young man, who was held down on the ground and handcuffed, was then shot by a police officer. (Fucking cops!)
Compounding the issue is that there hasn’t seemed to be any real action on holding any of the officers involved accountable for the death of the young man, 22 year old Oscar Grant who was laid to rest yesterday.
So, people took to the streets. They met in protest at the BART (subway or tube to the rest of you) station where he was killed. They gathered to speak about the young man, and to express their anger towards the bullshit that went down on New Years Day at that location. And some folks then marched that location to downtown Oakland.
And some of those people, well, I don’t know what the fuck their problem was. Some shitty shit happened, yes, but does that justify burning cars, dumpsters, garbage cans and breaking windows in stores? Hell no!
I saw none of it. I was not in downtown. When I got off work yesterday, I got on my bike and rode home.
Some folks were there – Richard and Becks wrote great blogs about being there.
I love this city, and I hope we can find a way to work it out and express our anger without burning the whole city down.
The last week or so, I pretty much have been loving staying home by myself. I guess I’ve finally completely adjusted to living alone. All I’ve wanted to do this week is rush home from work to be alone. And while I’ve been alone, I’ve been reading a couple of books, “The Left Hand of Darkness” by Ursula K LeGuin and “The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe” by C.S. Lewis.
I’ve also been napping. Usually from falling asleep when I’m reading. I get home. Flop down on the couch, pick up the book, and half an hour later, I’m out. An hour after that, I wake up and pick up where I left off.
Of course, not today, ’cause when I got home, I wanted to check some social networking sites. And then of course, there’s this other occupation:
So, there you go. Doesn’t it sound thrilling?
OK, no, it totally doesn’t, but it is quite pleasant and I am enjoying myself.
Let’s start at the ending, or the new beginning as it were. It’s a new year, and yes, I’m single. Still. (I hate the word ‘still’.) No one even attempted to kiss me at midnight. I blame a horrific breakout and an unfortunate lei for that.
Anyway, I spent the evening at Slim’s seeing The Slackers, The Impalers, and The Struts. And really, what better way to ring in a new year than with some favorite bands and favorite friends, like Clam, who showed up as unannounced as always.
I am very thankful that 2008 is behind me, and I know there’s not truly much difference between a couple of days ago and today, yet it feels like a huge page in the book has been turned, and I’m very much looking forward to the next chapter of life.
So far, 2009 is starting with the band still looking for a singer, but still charging onward. I’ve joined a soccer team, and games start next week. I’m still at the same job I’ve been at since June, and I love it. And the biggest shock of all, I’m still in the same apartment. It’s been well over a year, and I am showing no signs of moving. Whew!
Now, moving backwards, a few days before Xmas, I was extended an invitation from my Aunties and cousins to join them in Las Vegas for the holiday. I decided this was the perfect opportunity for one last road trip for 2008. I sort of got so excited that I forgot about one thing – mountains. There are mountains between here and there, and where there are mountains, in the winter, there’s bound to be snow.
So I learned really quickly how to drive in the snow, and eventually arrived safe and sound in The City of Sin. It wasn’t a very sinful trip, considering how I was with the fam, but I liked it just fine. I walked just about everywhere and drank too much. In fact, I was so parched by the time I left that I decided to give up drinking when I got back for at least a bit. I only had a small amount of champers at midnight on NYE.
The highlight of Vegas for me was sitting in the dueling piano bar in the Paris hotel. If you’re in town, looking for a break from the gambling and the bustle, I say it’s a great way to spend an evening.
But, of course, it’s not Xmas without the Strange Manor gang, and I spent the evening with them before heading out of town. They had their usual party with gift exchange, good company, food, and drinks.
And of course, there were a pair of ska and reggae shows the weekend before the holiday, The Aggrolites with The Impalers and Hepcat with The Soul Captives.
Overall, it was a brilliant Holiday season, and I’m mostly pleased with it, but I am equally pleased that it’s over. I’m ready for brand new Crazy Single Girl Adventures!