Sleep Routine – FAIL

I’m continuing to have sleep issues and insomnia, so I decided to make every effort to do everything possible to put myself to sleep last night. I got home from recording before 10.

  • I responded to all the texts in my inbox, and then I switched my phone to vibrate.  I plugged it into the charger away from the bed.  Normally I keep the phone with me through the night so that I can check my email first thing when I wake up, but not last night.
  • I lit candles throughout my apartment, and turned off all the lights.
  • I sprayed lavender and vanilla sheet spray on my bed.
  • I turned on my water fountain with wind chime sound effects.
  • I took a melatonin supplement.
  • I made myself a glass of warm lactose milk.
  • I sat on the couch, in the candle light, sipping my milk, and listening to the sounds of the fountain.
  • I took a really hot candle lit shower.
  • I finished my milk and brushed my teeth.
  • I laid down on the floor of my apartment, and stretched every part of my body while listening to the fountain sounds.
  • I covered the clock in the apartment, so that I wouldn’t stare at it when I couldn’t sleep and stress myself out by watching how late it was getting.
  • I meditated
  • I went to bed around 10:45.
  • I covered my eyes with a lavender filled sleep mask.

And then I laid there.   And I laid there.   And I imagined myself riding on a BART train, since I always fall asleep on BART.  And my entire body felt like numb lead.  My limbs were heavy, and I felt as if I was melting into my bed.

And I was wide awake, and thinking about the fact that I couldn’t sleep.

Eventually I drifted off for a little while, but I didn’t stay asleep.  In fact, the only reason I knew that I had slept at all was that I had been dreaming and I was drooling a little bit.   I kept nodding off and waking up all night.

I got up this morning feeling only slightly more rested then I had the previous nights.

So, if you want to give me some advice as to how I could fall asleep . . . . well, just don’t.    I don’t want to hear it.    I really have made every effort and tried just about 10 different things that are supposed to be “sure fire”.

Tonight, I’m going to pick up the prescription of Lunesta my doctor called in for me.  After band practice, I’m going to take one, and I’m going to get a full nights’ sleep.  Deep, restful, sleepless, druggy sleep.

And I have no problem with that, and I don’t want to talk about it.

Just sayin’.

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