There’s a trend I’ve noticed lately. See if you can pick up on it from these two true stories.
Anecdote #1: A few weeks ago, The Slackers and Deal’s Gone Bad were playing at Slim’s. I hung out until the bitter end, ’cause you know, that’s what I do. Finally it was time to go, and since it’s a reasonable neighborhood, I walked myself to my car. I was rounding the corner and ran head-on into this older gentleman. We startled each other pretty well, and he said, “you startled me!” I assured him that he had also startled me, apologized, and continued on my way. I guess he turned to watch me walk away, because this 80-year-old man then hollered after me, “Damn, baby, you got back!” When I didn’t respond, and he followed up with, “Shake that thing!” Finally, he called out, “Have a nice evening!” I hollered, “you have a nice evening, too,” over my shoulder.
Anecdote #2: Sunday, on my way back from Iowa, I scored the middle seat on my flight from Chicago to SF. I was seated between a pair of gentleman, a bigger guy to my left in the window seat, and a 70-year-old Indian man to my right on the aisle. The fella in the aisle seat was sitting across from his family, and obviously didn’t speak English very well. His family was translating to the flight attendants for him. I tried to make myself as small as possible to not disturb either of my new companions, but finally I just couldn’t take it any more, and I had to get up. I had to use the loo. So, I tapped the fella to my right to get his attention and indicate through charades that I needed to get out. His son leaned across the aisle and explained that I wanted to get out. Rather than stand up, he sat up and squeezed back into my seat so I could scoot by. I had to make a choice, give him the hiney or the ‘giney. I went with the bum. And as I was stepping past him, this guy reached up and slapped my ass.
Did you pick up on the theme? The old guys, they love my booty. They love my ass so much that they forgo all manners and courtesy. What’s with that?