Posts Tagged 'sarcasm'

Favors I May Ask Soon

The following is a list of unusual requests that I might have to make from some of my friends when I get home:

“Excuse me, but can I hide under your furniture?  I think the Responsibilities may have found me.”

“Please take me somewhere now where I do not have to think.”

“In reagards to myself, could you please lower your expectations several notches?”

“I just want to do something normal, and not talk about It.”

“Please stop trying to cheer me up;  if you ignore my Grump, it’ll go away.”

I promise I won’t stay like this forever.  You’re just going to have to trust me on this one.

Introducing . . . Me

Yesterday may have been all fun and games, but today was all business at my job . . . kind of.    

It was one of those things where they bring together the folks from all over the country to sit in a depressing room and listen to a lot of talking.   I tried really hard to not fall asleep.    I did kind of nod off for a second, until my boss was kind enough to kick me. 

However, we started the day off with the traditional turn around the room where all the new people who are new since the last dreary meeting have to introduce themselves.    Oh joy.   

Since I knew this was coming, and I didn’t want to be boring, or yammer on for too long, I decided to tell my co-workers about my true nature.

I told them that I am, in fact, a cyborg.   I explained that my robotic parts did not give me super strength like the bionic woman, but made me super sarcastic instead.  I told them I had Go-Go Gadget Dry Humor.   

I also told them how I had run a systems analysis diagnostic scan and realized that working at my old company did not rock, and so I came to work at the new place.  

They actually applauded, and I was shocked when a few people complimented me on the introduction later in the day.  

My objective was to let everyone know two things – 1) I’m a gigantic nerd -and- 2) To not take me too seriously.  I think I was successful.

Just sayin’.


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