Here’s a list of things I don’t want to hear from people who have read this here blog:
- I’ve been reading your blog, and I got you this sock monkey!
- I’ve been reading your blog; am I the Object of Crush? (from, you know, Not Him)
- I’ve been reading your blog….you’re weird.
- I’ve been reading your blog; can I give you the number of my psychiatrist?
- I’ve been reading your blog; why do you listen to all those crappy bands?
- I’ve been reading your blog, and I found out where you live, and I’ve been hiding in the bush outside your window for the last 90 days.
- I’ve been reading your blog; actually, I submitted some of your writing as my own, and just got offered a book deal. Thanks!
- I’ve been reading your blog; your mom sounds hot. Can I have her number?
- I’ve been reading your blog, and I want to meet you and go on a date. (yeah, this sort of happened once, and now I know why it’s a nightmare)