So, the wedding ceremony I performed a few weeks ago was a complete success. My friends were really happy with the ceremony I wrote, and I got the guests to laugh at all the right places. Many of the friends and family of the couple gave me some of the most flattering compliments I have ever received, and I was very proud of myself. I’m glad that my friends pushed and challenged me, and that I was able to not only step up, but knock it out of the park.
Here are some of my favorite moments from the wedding:
- Telling the bride and groom an awesomely bad dirty joke just before the ceremony started.
- Choosing music from the Amelie soundtrack for the procession less than an hour before everything was set to kick off
- Being able to pull off both the whole Princess Bride “Mawwage” bit and “Let’s get pissed” from So I Married An Axe Murderer
- Front row seat to the best First Married Kiss I’ve ever seen.
- Being told that I should consider a career in stand-up comedy. (Nah – I think I’ll stick to writing the funny, and stay away from large crowds)
- One word – cupcakes
- And, as a result, now knowing exactly what I would look like as a character in Mortal Kombat . . . and yes, I would totally drop your ass with my crazy ministering style.
I guess what I’m saying is, you really can’t go wrong with asking a girl who doesn’t believe in Marriage much to perform your wedding ceremony.

Especially if you want a personalized ceremony written in such a way so that you can let all your loved ones know not only how serious you are about each other, but also how seriously nerdy you are. Because, yes, there was also a reference to Ganon thrown in for good measure.
Just sayin’.