Life in The Crapper

Yeah, so I’m still waiting for my dad’s surgery next month, and at times, it seems like my whole life is just sort of hanging out waiting for that to be over.  I feel like I can’t really make any plans, because I don’t really know when I’ll be back to California.   Also, it’s just kind of put me in a foul mood, in general.

So then, last week, my Kayphore broke her face in a bicycle accident.   Like, she literally fell off of her bike and landed face first on the street.   She broke three teeth in the process and has to go through all this dental work now, not to mention the busted knees and black eyes.   So, I’ve been trying to do as much as I can for her, and been trying to think of ways to cheer her up, be there for her, and distract her.   It’s the least I can do after all the time’s she’s saved my ass.

But while all this is going on, I can’t genuinely say that everything sucks.  I mean, I do have my moments where I certainly feel that way, but then I also have moments where it’s the last thought on my mind.

This Saturday, I’m going to Reno with The Happy Couple.   I’m going to get a spa room all to myself and have a lovely soak.   Also probably going to spend a bit of time out on the town.   Life can’t suck too much with a cocktail, hand of blackjack, and a jacuzi, can it?

Also, there’s something very interesting going on at home.   We have a pair of house guests from Turkey.   They sort of ended up in California without anywhere to go, and ended up at our house.   It’s a long story that I don’t want to go into about how they got here.  Let’s just say it involves some employment policies involving visible tattoos.   It’s kind of fun, though, and the house definitely feels lively with them there.

And today is The Wiz’s birthday, and we’re all going to see Harry Potter.   This is despite the fact that I’ve never really seen the other movies and/or read the books.   I shall be quite lost and confused throughout.   But whatever, it’s her birthday and that’s what she wants to do.  When it was my birthday, and all I wanted to do was ignore it, they all obliged, after all.

Finally, there is a little cuteness being directed my way, and I can’t say that I mind.    But as you know, if you ask about it, I’ll only get dodgy, so don’t even think about it.

So yeah, that’s what I’ve got.  That’s what’s up.

I’m just sayin’.

Padre PeggyLu . . . The Conclussion

So, the wedding ceremony I performed a few weeks ago was a complete success. My friends were really happy with the ceremony I wrote, and I got the guests to laugh at all the right places. Many of the friends and family of the couple gave me some of the most flattering compliments I have ever received, and I was very proud of myself. I’m glad that my friends pushed and challenged me, and that I was able to not only step up, but knock it out of the park.

Here are some of my favorite moments from the wedding:

  • Telling the bride and groom an awesomely bad dirty joke just before the ceremony started.
  • Choosing music from the Amelie soundtrack for the procession less than an hour before everything was set to kick off
  • Being able to pull off both the whole Princess Bride “Mawwage” bit and “Let’s get pissed” from So I Married An Axe Murderer
  • Front row seat to the best First Married Kiss I’ve ever seen.
  • Being told that I should consider a career in stand-up comedy.  (Nah – I think I’ll stick to writing the funny, and stay away from large crowds)
  • One word – cupcakes
  • And, as a result, now knowing exactly what I would look like as a character in Mortal Kombat . . . and yes, I would totally drop your ass with my crazy ministering style.


I guess what I’m saying is, you really can’t go wrong with asking a girl who doesn’t believe in Marriage much to perform your wedding ceremony.    


Me and The Happy Couple
Me and The Happy Couple

Especially if you want a personalized ceremony written in such a way so that you can let all your loved ones know not only how serious you are about each other, but also how seriously nerdy you are.    Because, yes, there was also a reference to Ganon thrown in for good measure.


Just sayin’.

Return of My Old Nemesis

So, if you’ve been following this here blog for very long, you probably remember back in March when I was celebrating and dancing on Cancer’s grave. I really thought that it was in our past, and that myself and my family could relax.

Well, the Bitch is back.

In April, just weeks after I got my final all clear, my father was diagnosed with cancer. In the last few months, he’s undergone chemotherapy and radiation treatments. In August, he is scheduled for surgery. I will be heading north, and will be staying with my folks during the surgery and recovery. I’m very thankful that my company is being very flexible, and allowing me to work remotely during that time.

My father’s prognosis is very good, and with the surgery, he should make a full recovery. However, it is still a very stressful time for us all.

And I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t fucking with my head at all, the number of family member who’ve dealt with cancer in the last few years. It would be nice to have just six months without it. Or to be able to come down from one loss or one battle before then next comes along.

I am exhausted. I am unmotivated.

Just sayin’.