When was the last time you had a crush on someone? I mean, really legitimately had a Crush on someone? Junior High or High School, perhaps? Well, my 32-year-old ass has got one. Got it real bad, in fact.
I’m sure this guy has no clue. Also, I’m about 90% sure that he’s off the market. And yet, I’m totally dumb for him, and I can’t stop my brain from wandering in his particular direction. Unwelcome and unbidden thoughts popping into my little brain while I’m trying to go about my life, attempting to be a human being. It’s really hard to look at HTML when your brain is flashing kissing scenes in your head. Can I just reiterate that part where this person is oblivious to me? Maybe if I keep reminding myself, it’ll all go away. I don’t want to be this stupid.
The thing is, though, that all this stuff, for me, well it’s been awhile. Let’s think about this. I’ve been single for almost two years. Actually, next Saturday will be exactly two years. So, while I’ve stuck my pinky toe in the dating pool a few times in the last two years, mostly it’s just been a big fat awkward mess. A mess that isn’t helping my confidence level at all. I mean, how do I Do This? How does a Crazy Single Girl let it be known when she wouldn’t mind too terribly at all if you brushed the hair out of her eyes, ran you fingers down her cheeks, lifted her chin…Oh crap. I’m doing it again.
Anyway, so before a year and 51 weeks ago, I had been with the same guy for over two years. We started dating a day or two after my previous boyfriend dumped me. (I don’t recommend this, by the way) So, in effect, it’s been almost five years, since I’ve played this game, and I am having trouble getting back into it.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, how do you let someone know that you have been thinking about him. Thinking about him more than just a little, but rather a lot actually. And I’d like to spend more time with him. Listen to him talk about anything. To sit him and stare into his blue eyes. (of course they’re blue) How do you even begin to tell someone all that, you know, without sounding like a complete nutter?
The answer is, you don’t. There’s no way to dive into all that without coming across as a stalker. So, the question is, how do you start? Where do you start? What do you say that will eventually lead the conversation in that direction? I wouldn’t even know where to begin. And I don’t want to be an ass, assuming that I’m right and he is off the market.
And so, you see, I have a silly crush, and I don’t know what to do about it, and even if I did know, I shouldn’t do anything about it.