Last night, I wrote a throw away post on my parents’ anniversary. I wanted to write something, and I wanted to shout out to them on their special day, but I wasn’t really in the mood to write. So, here’s what I woulda/coulda/shoulda written last night. Here are my thoughts on their anniversary, and on anniversaries in general.
- I sort of forgot that it was their anniversary, until I was on the phone with my mom. I didn’t feel too bad about it, though, ’cause I think they forgot, too. My dad got up yesterday to go to work, and he found a note from my mom asking him to pick up milk on the way home. When he was finishing up his day with some paperwork, he remembered the date. He said something to one of his co-workers, like, “oh, it’s June 10th. It’s my wedding anniversary.” The co-worker asked what he was going to get for my mom, and he told him he was getting her a carton of milk. My mom gave him a slice of banana bread in return. I hope to someday be in a relationship long enough that anniversaries are still important, but not anything to break your heart over if it happens to slip my mind.
- Anniversaries. The root of the word is ‘annual’. Meaning yearly. There’s no such thing as a six month anniversary. A one month anniversary is also right out. I think that would be a lunaversary. And really, it’s just lunacy. Being able to relate to someone for 30 whole days in a row shouldn’t be that difficult. Unless you’re me, apparently, but that’s a rant for another time.
- I don’t do anniversaries. I was in a long term relationship once. In two plus years, we could never agree when that anniversary would be, if we were to celebrate one. When you get married, it’s easy. It’s the day of the ceremony. The anniversary of a birth, also very easy to track. I’ve had anniversaries at jobs, too. That’s super duper easy. But when does it start to actually count when you’re dating. ‘Cause there’s dating, and then there’s dating. I mean, I could go on a date tonight, and in that sense, I’d be dating someone, but I wouldn’t consider someone my boyfriend on the first date. So, if I did go on a date (this is a purely hypothetical scenario, by the way), and then down the road, that person did become a significant part of my life and family, when does it count? What about if you’re with somebody for a really long time before you get married, and the day you consider to be the anniversary is different from your wedding date? This is why I don’t do it. It’s too confusing. As always, though, I reserve the right to change my mind.
- My parents have been married for 37 years. They raised two kids. I use the term loosely, since I don’t feel like too much of a real adult. They worked. They moved a few times. They retired. Now my dad is working again. All this stuff has happened for them, to them, and with them. They couldn’t possibly be the same people they were when they married, at ages 31 and 24. How the hell did they do that? I can’t even manage to get anyone to like me for more than 36 hours in a row right now. I am incapable of being lovable. And they’ve been in love longer than I’ve been alive. My mom didn’t even like him when they met! Seriously! WTF? What is wrong with me?