Same Rant, Different Day

Here it is, 3 o’clock.  I’m in the office.   I’m doing nada.   Serious amounts of nothing happening right here, right now.  I could be off dealing with a bunch of theater related stuff, or theater induced time management issues.  Instead I’m sitting in my cube, staring at the internet.

I mean, don’t get me wrong.  Love doodling on my blog, and all, but it’s not like I really can sit here and give the proper rundown of my life in the last few days, ’cause there’s a lot to tell.   Also, I’m so distracted by the all the things I have to do – I can’t really focus on reading blogs or anything.

If I left now, I could go home, get my car, and drive my happy ass to the theater instead of taking BART.

Just sayin’.

Really? It’s Jessica Simpson’s Fault? Really?

Today’s “What the – ?” moment brought to us by Fox Sports. I don’t really follow football, but I saw the article in my Google Reader, and I was confused about the connection between a pop icon and an athlete, and how the heck Ian O’Connor brought it all back to Rocky.

To spare you the details, apparently Cowboys’ quarterback, Tony Romo, played a less than inspiring game against Eagles while Simpson was in the stands. Apparently he had also had a poor performance against the Eagles when his previous girlfriend, Carrie Underwood, was in the stands last year. So, the connection is made that it’s the girlfriend’s fault. Apparently the fact that both games were against the same team hasn’t occurred to sports writers. That perhaps the Eagles have something going for them that gives them an edge against Romo’s game?

The thing that gets me, this isn’t just covered on one site. The same angle is covered on USA Today, MSNBC, Boston Herald, and (get this) The New Zealand Herald! Really? NEW ZEALAND!

That’s some ace reporting right there! Why take the time to analyze the performance of the athletes involved, and formulate a theory or opinion about why this team keeps losing to that team when you can just point at a woman as a scapegoat?

Just sayin’.

Mind Your Own

I work in a very nosy office. People here think nothing of asking some very personal questions. Of course, I’m not the most guarded of people (if I were, would I have this blog), and I’m not exactly offended. I just don’t see why they ask these questions in the first place. In the last week I’ve been grilled on what my living arrangements are, questioned on my future plans (or lack there of) to wed, and been interrogated in detail on my family planning objectives and methods. These people are all up in my uterus.

I blame our baby-centric society. If you doubt that our society is baby-centric, look no further than the celebrity blogs. A solid majority of the “news” they cover involves who may be pregnant, and once the celebs do have children, they post the latest paparazzi shot of the most mundane family outing.

There are no less than three expecting parents in my office of about 15, and 2 brand new moms. Congratulations to them. Mazel Tov, even. But seriously, stay out of my womb.

As I found myself at a loss for how to respond to these questions, I found myself being sucked further into the conversation. Again, I wasn’t offended, so I wasn’t sure how to respond. I also didn’t want my co-workers to feel guilty or like I was angry with them. I didn’t want to reprimand or berate them. I just wanted to change the subject.

It wasn’t until later, when I was rehashing the details with M, that I came upon the perfect response to any sort of questions pertaining to my intentions of child-rearing. I’m just going to say, “I don’t have any children,” regardless of the question. Armed with this, I felt that I had everything under control.

But then, this morning, one of my co-workers found something new to harp on. Apparently my being a vegetarian is very unhealthy for me. Who knew? Also, I’m going to die a terrible death from cancer because yesterday I microwaved my lunch in a plastic container. And this wasn’t just a single statement. He went on and on.

I should have just told him that I don’t have any children.

Burning the Candle

It’s not really like at both ends. I honestly feel like I’ve just been throwing the whole damn candle in the fireplace for months. I never get to sleep in the way that I like to. I’m nocturnal. I’m pretty reliant on not getting out of bed before noon on Saturday and Sunday to make up my sleep debt. Why do people insist on pretending like they’re so important that they’ve got something vital to do at 9 on Saturday? You’re not that special. Go back to bed.

It ought to be illegal. We should all be locked in our houses until noon, and not allowed to leave. Giant robots could stand guard. Yeah. That’s the ticket. I’m all about a society of enforced laziness via martial law, compulsory cocktails, and working from home a.k.a. working from pajamas.

All I have to do now is get the concept of Business Attire amended to mean Cargo pants and a Hoodie.

And Cocktail Attire would be jeans and a tank top. (I mean, that’s what I wear when I drink cocktails.)

So, I guess what I’m saying is – Here’s to the lazy folks! Stay as bad as you wanna be in bed as long as you wanna be!

Or Not

No more than six hours after I wrote that last blog, I was struck by the urge to jump in my car, and get the hell out of here.

Maybe someday, I’ll actually grow some guts, and go for it.    One day, maybe, I’ll pull a Kerouac, and I’ll just be gone.    I’ll pack up my car, head out, and return I don’t know when.

For now, I’m shackled by fear and student loan debt.

Fear not; I’m probably not going anywhere.