Buckle up, kiddos, ’cause this is going to be a whopper of a post.
So, I’m not regularly dating. I am, however, irregularly dating.
I mean, I still have a profile up on a dating site, but since it’s not really breaking my heart to be single, I’m not fully invested in the whole process, am sort of half doing it to be doing something, and it’s not going so well. More than anything there have just been a lot of awkward exchanges, and some red flags a’waving. But I digress . . .
I’ve met a couple of people here and there that I’ve been hanging out with. It’s all very much just about as serious as Sponge Bob, at this point. Yep, “still” (grr) single. Still crazy.
So, last night I was hanging out with a guy friend, and the topic of threesomes came up. I said that I wasn’t interested in having a threesome with a guy and another girl. This lead him to say that he didn’t think that he and I could ever be compatible, because I’m too closed minded, since I wouldn’t consider a threesome. I’m not closed minded. I’m straight.
(It should be noted that I had not been considering having sex with him, so this is kind of a moot point.)
It reminded me of an exchange I had with another fella some time back. I was trying to encourage him to stop with the endless flirting, and, you know, actually take me Out, instead of just talking about it. Well, he had suddenly changed his tune, and let me know that now he had decided to only take out “ladies who like other ladies.”
What exactly am I supposed to do with this? I guess whatever floats your boat, but what about actually floats my boat? I also just don’t understand why this would be such a shock to anyone. I mean, why would anyone assume that I would be into women when I’m so obviously into men, and haven’t shown any signs of being into women. I guess it’s wrong to assume anything about anyone’s preference, but it’s equally wrong to assume that I can just turn gay all of a sudden.
It’s a huge double standard. These same guys, they would never dream of having a threesome with me and another guy. It would never even occur to them, and there’s not a lot of precedent for it in media, either. While there are so many examples in pop culture of the portrayal that women’s sexuality is fluid, men’s is in most cases portrayed to be rigid. For women, there are a gajillion porns, Girls Gone Wild, Katy Perry’s I Kissed a Girl, etc, where at any moment a woman who identifies as being straight could become attracted to other women. Because it’s not enough that we face pressure to be beautiful, youthful, smart, and malleable in a hundred other ways, now we have to be bisexual, too. Or at least be willing to have sex with someone we’re not the least bit attracted to in order to be attractive to the ones we are.
Pardon my French, but FUCK THAT SEXIST SHIT!
Message to the dudes of the world . . . .I can’t help it if I’m hetero. Oh darn! I actually am attracted to humans that have body shapes and appearances similar to yours. What a bloody tragedy. And this idea that I should have sex with someone I didn’t want just to prove something to you or that it means that I am closed, narrow, or small minded is fucking insulting.
I’m straight. Get used to it.
And a side note to any bisexual women and/or women who do want to have threesomes with another woman, go get your get, and I just want to be clear that I got no problem with you. In other words, I ain’t mad atcha.