The Air Quotes That Drove Me Mad

This is the point at which I started throwing things at the TV last night:

OH NO HE DIDN’T!!!!!!  Please tell me that this man did not just put air quotes around health. Yes, allegedly these healthcare providers are interested in the health of a woman.   But not really.   Just air quote health!

And apparently giving a crap about a woman’s health and well being is a “radical” opinion.

Because, you know, all those selfish, irresponsible women carry pregnancies for months and months and months and then one day they just decides that they should have had an abortion, and then, conveniently, their doctors comes up with a cockamamie excuse, such as placental abruption.    Yeah, that’s EXACTLY how it goes down.   It’s all just lies and smoke screens so that selfish women can live another day to, you know, raise the children they may already have or to have more children!    Who do they think they are?

End sarcasm.


What’s the Worst You Could Do?

What’s the worst thing you could do to the world’s tiniest bladder? Fill it full of 32 ounces of water, make it hold it for an hour, and then put pressure on the outside with an ultrasound wand.

I had to have a pelvic ultrasound today. This was the second time around for me. I had my first one about a year and a half ago. I’ve been having some issues with my girly guts.

So, in order to get a good image with the doo-hicky that the run over your belly, they need to have your bladder 100% full of liquid. I don’t know why. What I do know is, it’s the most horrible trick anyone has ever played on me. It was miserable.

So, this morning, I got up, got ready, and drank the water. Then i got to drive to the hospital. I felt every single little bump in the road. And as I was sitting in the car, the waistband of my jeans were cutting into me a bit.

The truly cruel bit was, when the technician was done, and she finally said I could go, I ran to the bathroom, sat myself down, and then couldn’t. I had done such a good job of telling my body to hold it, that it took a few seconds to change it’s mind.

That was the nicest, most satisfying pee I ever took.

Just sayin’