Category: Life In General

I Love You All Very Much, But

You ever felt like you can’t seem to fit into any particular space?   Yeah, I’m having that day.   And I should have known.   I mean, I literally got into a little bit of a fender bender this morning trying to fit into a parking space.   Universe, you may now stop the interpretive dance of my emotions.   M’kay!  Thanks.

Ok, so it wasn’t exactly a fender bender.  More like a bump.   But I scuffed the paint on the other car.  And yes, I left a note.   Why?  Because I fucking hate coming out of someplace and finding a scuff or notch or dent on my car, so why would I do that to anyone else.

I’ve been wandering around all day feeling awkward and like I just don’t belong.  Not much of a stretch for a gigantic nerd-face such as myself, but it’s still not the most comfortable feeling in the world.   It’s kind of like being Chapped, with a side of I Just Said the Wrong Thing for the Fiftieth Time.   Maybe with a dash of Why Can’t I Do This?

So, anyway, I’m sort of in quiet, I have my headphones on so you can’t see me, hidey kind of headspace.

And of course, I don’t know what to say, other than it’s not you; it’s most definitely me.   I just . . .

Don’t belong here.

Life in The Crapper

Yeah, so I’m still waiting for my dad’s surgery next month, and at times, it seems like my whole life is just sort of hanging out waiting for that to be over.  I feel like I can’t really make any plans, because I don’t really know when I’ll be back to California.   Also, it’s just kind of put me in a foul mood, in general.

So then, last week, my Kayphore broke her face in a bicycle accident.   Like, she literally fell off of her bike and landed face first on the street.   She broke three teeth in the process and has to go through all this dental work now, not to mention the busted knees and black eyes.   So, I’ve been trying to do as much as I can for her, and been trying to think of ways to cheer her up, be there for her, and distract her.   It’s the least I can do after all the time’s she’s saved my ass.

But while all this is going on, I can’t genuinely say that everything sucks.  I mean, I do have my moments where I certainly feel that way, but then I also have moments where it’s the last thought on my mind.

This Saturday, I’m going to Reno with The Happy Couple.   I’m going to get a spa room all to myself and have a lovely soak.   Also probably going to spend a bit of time out on the town.   Life can’t suck too much with a cocktail, hand of blackjack, and a jacuzi, can it?

Also, there’s something very interesting going on at home.   We have a pair of house guests from Turkey.   They sort of ended up in California without anywhere to go, and ended up at our house.   It’s a long story that I don’t want to go into about how they got here.  Let’s just say it involves some employment policies involving visible tattoos.   It’s kind of fun, though, and the house definitely feels lively with them there.

And today is The Wiz’s birthday, and we’re all going to see Harry Potter.   This is despite the fact that I’ve never really seen the other movies and/or read the books.   I shall be quite lost and confused throughout.   But whatever, it’s her birthday and that’s what she wants to do.  When it was my birthday, and all I wanted to do was ignore it, they all obliged, after all.

Finally, there is a little cuteness being directed my way, and I can’t say that I mind.    But as you know, if you ask about it, I’ll only get dodgy, so don’t even think about it.

So yeah, that’s what I’ve got.  That’s what’s up.

I’m just sayin’.

Just Kind of Cheerful

Do you ever have those days?  The days that start off unremarkably.  Alarm goes off.  You open one crusty eye.  Realize that the sun is up, The Clash are on your iPod, and it really is time you should be getting in the shower.   And then, the next thing you know, you’re in  a great fucking mood.   For no reason.   No reason, whatsoever.

Yeah . . . I’m there.

All day, just kind of with a light, effortless smile on my face.   Even when work got a little challenging, I was still cheerful.   

Sunny, even. 

I have no idea where this good mood came from, but I sure hope it lasts.   There’s nothing better than being alarmingly happy.

Just sayin’.

So Much on My Mind, So Little to Say

I’ve got a lot going on in my head right now, but it’s mostly very personal, so I don’t feel right putting it on this blog for the whole world to read.   I still maintain that there are certain things that you don’t need to throw out on the internet.   Or, at the very least, I should try to be vague about these things, pretend that I’m not laying my heart wide open for any pervert or ex or perverted ex to read about. 

Change happens.

Just sayin’.

Not so Crazy Single Girl Life

The last week or so, I pretty much have been loving staying home by myself.  I guess I’ve finally completely adjusted to living alone.   All I’ve wanted to do this week is rush home from work to be alone.   And while I’ve been alone, I’ve been reading a couple of books, “The Left Hand of Darkness” by Ursula K LeGuin and “The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe” by C.S. Lewis.   

I’ve also been napping.  Usually from falling asleep when I’m reading.   I get home.  Flop down on the couch, pick up the book, and half an hour later, I’m out.  An hour after that, I wake up and pick up where I left off.   

Of course, not today, ’cause when I got home, I wanted to check some social networking sites.   And then of course, there’s this other occupation:

Neopetting

So, there you go.  Doesn’t it sound thrilling?  

 

OK, no, it totally doesn’t, but it is quite pleasant and I am enjoying myself.

 

Just sayin’.

It’s Raining

It’s very unusual for it to rain so early in October in this part of the world.   And yet, it obviously happens.   

 

I’m sitting here on a Friday night, very close to closing my eyes and drifting off.   Very early in the evening for me.   I am listening to the sounds of the cars driving by on the wet streets.   

Maybe it’ll bring a fresh start tomorrow.   It never hurts to have a do over.   

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the past year, about the losses, about my health, and about the many changes.  

It seems appropriate that the rain is coming down tonight.  

 

I know this probably seems like some random, incoherent stream from my brain, and it is.   

 

I just feel like things are changing now.   And the coincidence of this rain just happens to be a good metaphor.   

So, hopefully this rain will wash away what’s been weighing me down, and I can have my fresh start.

Rarities and B-Sides

Life’s had some pleasant and unexpected moments and plot twists lately.   

 

  • Today, I met a no shit, real deal Olympian, Women’s table tennis team member Jackie Lee!!
  • Sunday, I had some barbecue with a no shit New York musician/poet/genius.
Life can’t be bad, can it?  Hanging out with athletes and poets.  Who would have ever thunk it.   Other fun stuff from the weekend included Joebot Twopointoh’s farewell show with The Phenomenauts.   He will be missed, but sometimes we all just have to move along.  Also went to Mama Bear’s baby shower, which I helped to plan.  
All in all, over the last few days, there’s been a lot of stuff going on that’s at least a little unusual, or once in a lifetime type experiences.  

Favorite Things

Here’s a small list of my favorite things from my day:

  • Five hour long conversation with Mama Bear
  • Record breaking daily views on my blog
  • Multiple jokes about babies with penises on their backs
  • Watching my new boss do a somersault in the lobby of our office
  • This
Here’s a small list of my regrets from my day:
  • Missing Creeper’s call.  Sorry dude.
  • Not being able to respond to Darby’s text in a timely fashion