My Life is Stuck in Fast Foward

Right now, it seems like my life is moving at twice the speed of what it should. The last three months have been an insane kind of roller coaster.

In February, I lost my sister, and I felt like my life was derailed as my relationship was falling apart in front of me. I was feeling low and lonely, facing a life I didn’t even recognize. It all sort of came to a head in March.

When my ex lowered the gate on our relationship, I was lost.  I felt like the relationship had been the backbone to my life, and it was just gone. Looking back, I should have known, and it wasn’t like things were perfect, but I needed it to work, so I thought it would. Just if we could hang in there, everything would be good again. I was like a junkie who kept going back to try to recapture that original high, but just like heroine, that relationship was never going to give me what it had in the beginning, and it was only going to drag me down.

While I was going through the break up, trying to figure out what the heck to do with my life, I decided to jump off of a ledge that I had been teetering on for such a long time. I went for it, as it were, and ended up with my band. It’s one of the best things I’ve ever had or done, and I can’t wait to see what we’re going to do. I geek out on it at least once per day.

My job has been a source of stress for some time, since we got bought out by the Huge Corporation. A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting here in my living room, and one of my friends pinged me, saying he knew of an opening that I might be interested in. I interviewed, and was offered the job. I’m really excited to be starting that job.

I’ve come to embrace my singleness. Crazy single girl lifestyle is feeling more natural and comfortable as every day passes. I go out with my friends, and we do what we do how we do it. It’s nice to not feel obligated or guilty for doing only what I like, and it’s equally nice to know that I alone am calling the shots here. And with all of that comes the joy of flirting and that anticipation of new beginnings.

Then this morning, I got one of those horrible phone calls that you never want to get. My uncle was diagnosed with multiple myeloma last summer. He also had a massive heart attack and pneumonia twice. He’s been in and out of the hospital, having chemotherapy and what not. This morning, my cousin called to say that the doctors said that he has at most a few more days. I spent a good part of the day trying to help my mom get an airline ticket so that she could get to Iowa to see him. I hope she makes it in time.

I just can’t help thinking, though, that this can’t be normal. Who else loses a sister, loses a partner, joins a band, gets a new job, and then loses the head of her family all within three months? Can the cosmos ease up on the accelerator?

These ups and downs are a bit much.

Just sayin’.

Woo Hoo – About Freaking Time

The Supreme Court here in the Golden State has overturned the ban on gay marriage! I would have thought this would have happened a lot sooner in our state, but I’ll take it, any way.

Take that Republicans!

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – The government should not be dictating morality by sanctioning one marriage over another.  It’s all or none.  One for all and all for one.

Mom’s In Town

Mom got in on Saturday night, and we spent yesterday together, and even saw my brother for a while. We went to the Winchester Mystery House, because it’s something she had always wanted to do. This was the second time I had been there this year, and it was just as cool the second time around. I love that house, and I still say that I want to be just like Sara Winchester when I grow up.

So, this is going to be a crazy week in a different sense. Lots of family stuff, and probably a lot of running around. We’re going to get me a sewing machine so that I can become just as crafty as Mom. Actually, that’s not humanly possibly, I don’t think. My mom is pretty damn crafty. I just want to be able to make a curtain to cover the ugly bars in my bathroom and some cushions for my window bench. Maybe I’ll progress some day to making some clothing.

Also on the agenda is going out to eat at places my dad wouldn’t want to go to, like for Indian. I think it’s hilarious that my mom wants to do this. It just goes to show that it’s always good to have some time to do your own thing, even after 37 years. Yeah, they’ve been married that long. I don’t know if that gives me hope or scares the crap out of me, to be honest.

Big Weekend

The fun starts tomorrow evening, with friends from Chicago, Deal’s Gone Bad, opening for  The Slackers of New York City at Slim’s in The City.   I have been looking forward to this show for weeks.  Months even.  It’s always good to see friends, and when those friends are also great musicians and performers, it’s like a double whammy.

Saturday I have another band rehearsal.  The last one was a lot of fun, so I’m looking forward to this next one.  We might have a singer by then.

Saturday evening my mom is getting in.  She’s going to be staying with me for over  a week at The Rock.   Hopefully we won’t be giving each other black eyes, sharing such close quarters in my studio apartment.

Sunday, Mother’s Day, Mom wants to go to the Winchester Mystery House.   I think Creeper is going to join us, as he’s lived in the San Jose area most of his life, and still has never been.

Monday I am taking a personal day from work, so I can spend some more time with Mom.  Three day weekends are the best.  Every weekend should be a three-dayer.

What are your plans for the weekend?

A Grand Party

I have been such a slack about the posting lately. There have been quite a few things that have happened lately or random thoughts that have popped into my head that I’ve thought would make for good blogging, but I just couldn’t get myself motivated. I even wrote half a blog on Monday, but then didn’t post it. It turned out to be a rough week.

On Tuesday morning, I got to work, and opened my email (professional & personal). On the personal account, I had an email from my aunt in England, letting me know that Great Aunt Kath passed away on Monday. She was 97 years old. When I was in England in April, I saw her, and she told me that she’d never see me again. I was kind of hoping that she would be wrong, that I’d make it back again, and it wouldn’t take 30 years for me to get there again.

I talked to my cousin Jenny that afternoon, and she said, “I think they’re all [Aunt Kath,  her mother, my grandmother, and their other sibilings] up there having a grand party now.”

Cheers Aunt Kath! Cheers to Grandma, too!