I’ve alluded to the fact that I’m working on a play. It’s Rogers & Hammerstein’s Cinderella, put on by Contra Costa Musical Theater at the Lesher Center for the Arts in Walnut Creek. I’m the sound assistant, which basically means that I’m prepping the cordless mics for the cast before the show, and collecting them at the end. I also am on standby during the show, in case anyone’s mic goes out, which thankfully hasn’t happened yet.
I also get to help out a little backstage with some special effects and quick costume changes. Now when I say special effects, it’s not like we’re making the Millennium Falcon fly, or anything. I’m not going to give anything away, but let’s just say it’s a lot more impressive than I expected.
Anyway, the funniest thing about the job, by far, is the part where I have to put the protection on the mic packs. The packs need to be protected from all moisture, and since they’re being worn by human beings who perspire, this means they need to be shielded somehow. In my kit is a huge bag of ultrasound probe sheaths. Really, they’re condoms. It’s a zipper bag of lubeless rubbers. I am getting pretty good at handling prophylactics. And I leave the theater every night with my hands reeking of latex.
I hope no one gets the wrong idea.